Which is insane.
Last year, we had an IEP. I didn't think the school was going to allow him to have one. I had an advocate with me and even she said she was prepared to hear no. After putting up a fight, they gave us an IEP.
Great. Right?
The IEP was incredibly difficult to enforce. I know, teachers are overworked and underpaid. I get it. But that does nothing to help my son move ahead in life. The teachers are only going to have him for three years. He needs to function with his various abilities forever.
I asked for a myriad of things and was met with various levels of resistance. For instance, if I could get the weekly syllabus ahead of time, we could review it over the weekend or even the day before. Then when the teacher is explaining it in class, he isn't completely lost.
No. I was told teachers don't plan that far ahead.
My son has short term memory issues. They're thoroughly documented and covered by the IEP. I repeatedly asked for the teachers to ensure he is aware of what assignments are due and when. They gave him a planner to use. Nobody ever made him use it and he kept forgetting it was in his bag. He also forgot his homework was in his bag...and never turned it in. (Despite the IEP specifying the teachers to ask him for it.) During the final IEP meeting of the year, one teacher in particular was telling me how my son was getting an F because none of his assignments were done.
Keep in mind, I am in constant contact with every one of his teachers. If I'm not emailing them daily to ask about homework assignments, I am emailing them weekly for updates. After all, we should all be on the same team. (It should be noted, all of the emails are polite and respectful. There's no need to be mean.)
When you have a "normal" child, this kind of stuff is taken for granted. But when you have a special needs child, they can easily fall through the cracks. There is nothing more frustrating than seeing your child being set up for failure...when you know they are capable of better things.
I am not going to let my child fall through the cracks.
When he initially received his IEP, the district representative said it outright. There's really not a place where they feel he would receive the optimal education. They want to put him in the "least restrictive environment". But he wouldn't be able to succeed without some intervention...which the school wasn't able to accommodate in the mainstream environment. Their concern was he wouldn't flourish in Special Ed because it wouldn't be challenging enough for him to grow.
My son is quiet. He can't read facial cues, so he always assumes people are angry with him. He's incredibly literal and doesn't understand sarcasm. He would never in a million years say anything in defiance of a teacher. He won't even try to explain his position if there is a misunderstanding. He will just sit there quietly and try to blend in with the wall.
via GIPHY
Which is good, I suppose. He's not a distraction. But, if he doesn't understand something, he won't call attention to himself. If he isn't sure whether it is okay to turn in late homework, he won't ask. To do so would result in the attracting the teacher's ire. So, he just sits there, lost in his own world.
Special Ed would be, could be, ideal for him. Small class sizes. More attention.
Except, it's not.
Every single one of his Special Ed classes has students with aggressive behavioral issues. Of course, the teacher is focused on the one student and then my son melts into the background. He is ignored whether he's mainstream or in Special Ed.
The system is broken. It is setting our kids up for failure. And I'm not going to apologize; our "special needs" children deserve an education like everyone else.
Things we've tried that might work for you
1.) Visual cues, but my son became complacent after seeing it every day, 7 times a day.
2.) Setting reminders on cell phones. But cell phones can become a distraction and can be taken away by the teacher. Besides, the battery kept dying by 7th period.
My new solution (that I hope works)
I created a simple daily planner. (Feel free to take it and make alterations.) I'm hoping with less visual clutter, it'll be easier for him to use. Places like The UPS Store and Staples will print multiple copies and even bind them for you. Keep an eye out for coupons. But even without coupons, it's still affordable. Last time I had 200 pages bound, it was maybe $13.
Bonus: This gives you the opportunity to personalize the planner to work for your child. You can add folders, charts, pictures...whatever you want.
I've also purchased a Vibrating Reminder Watch. It has 8 possible alarms that can be set throughout the day. It vibrates for a few seconds and then turns off. When the alarm goes off, I'm hoping it will remind my son to write in his planner.
I hope it works. I'll keep you posted.
